How gender roles live today on Women’s Equality Day

August 26, 1920: The Adoption of the 19th Amendment

99 years ago today, American citizens were guaranteed that they would not be denied the right to vote on the basis of sex. This was a critical day for the suffrage movement who’s hope was that one day women having the right to vote would be completely uncontroversial and a cultural norm.

Women were mothers and caretakers. Men were bread winners and worked.

Fast forward to August 26, 2019, and our suffrage movement is defined in new ways. Today we seek equality from pay to maternity leave to venture capitalist investments to c-level presence and more. We’re beyond just gender and want equality across all demographics and psychographics. That’s what #diversityandinclusion is all about.

But it’s confusing and evolving

Women are still playing the motherhood role from 99 years ago but now we want to be amazing mothers and have professional success, inner peace, a great family and limited stress. This is freaking confusing.

Here I am, with two degrees, great career and health, fantastic family and friends, and marriage with stepkiddos. We’ve come this far with our rights and opportunity so that we can have more than just a motherhood role. So that we can be leaders, have a seat at the table and forge a new world for our daughters and granddaughters. We want women’s equality deeply and our souls and familial traits pull us differently than men. I feel like the motherhood duties are shared now more than ever with our partners yet we still hold this resentment and fear because we’re all playing many roles. 

I want to be paid equally to men and have equal duties in the household but still want my husband to treat me like a lady, open up the cans, and make money. I’m married to an entrepreneur and that means I hold the stability through my 9 to 5 job, and in theory that should be okay, but in my mind and gut, I feel like the man should do this sometimes. I keep fighting for equality but subconsciously I’m still that woman from 99 years ago that is used to taking care of the household, being a mother, and relying on her husband for financial security. WTF is going on in my head?!

I’m incredibly lucky to have a partner that listens, understands and respects my whole self and my dreams, but sometimes we struggle with the household dynamic. We’ve had many conversations about the bread winner role and to be honest, I’ve struggled with the idea of being that person. It’s like our neuron patterns from decades over decades are so instilled in both of us that it’s hard to catch our ground because we don’t know who to be and when to be it.

I guess my point here is that deep down women and men are super confused with our roles and responsibilities in today’s household. We have evolved so much and desire more for all of us, but that doesn’t mean our subconsciousness and old patterns aren’t there.

This awareness is huge for me. Knowing that while I want Women’s Equality beyond words, we are human and have to continue to evolve. Together.  

To be successful in your partnerships and career in 2019, you must reflect on your past, present and future and use that conscious awareness and self reflection to intentionally evolve with those around you. We’re evolving together so being vulnerable, open minded and open to new ways of thinking will be a huge step towards more peace and more equality not just for women, but all of us.

Do you ever feel confused in the role you play? How do you help yourself and others to create more peace and equality?


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